Anger

Rage is making my heart beat really really fast, so that I can't breathe, so that I'm exhausted, lightheaded, genuinely afraid of having a stroke.
Being so angry is making me angry-how dare *they* take being a nice person away from me? How dare *they* inflict these insane desires for revenge on me? I'm a fucking pacifist fuck them. But if I could, I'd make something bad happen to *them* Something really really horrible that made them really hurt. I'd give the kid a fatal disease (would need that to be non painful tho), I'd have the smug bitch struck off and place her husband in the arms of whoever would bug her the most-lapdancer or posh totty-not sure which is best. I'd have the fat pig snuff it-in some sort of embarrassing non heroic way so that people sniggered about it at the tennis club & bridge & whispered round the village laughing. I'd have them really really need something that only I could provide so that all the power was with me for a change & I could have a go at abusing it. I'd be prepared to endure quite a lot to make vengeance happen. Can't decide where my cut off point is at the moment but fear I am prepared to endure actual pain if I could get a really good revenge. At least as bad as a really bad toothache. For a set period. Definitely a month. And writing this crazy stuff is making me laugh & cry & not sure but I think I might feel a bit better & I think maybe the kid shouldn't die at least....